Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
