I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
