I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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