Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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