I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
