do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
