I'm lost and stupid without you.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
