The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
