I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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