U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
