I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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