So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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