Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
