Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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