Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Randomize