with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
