Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
