Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
