I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
