i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
