ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I just found puke in my bra..
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
