are you still at the devil's house?
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
