just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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