Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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