Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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