he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
