I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
