He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize