Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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