we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
