Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
