you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
