i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
