I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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