Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
