I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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