the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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