When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
