drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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