you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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