There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
