PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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