what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
