There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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