I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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