Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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