My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
