he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
