I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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