what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
third nipple confirmed
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
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