this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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