our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
