there was a trapeze. enough said
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
