The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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