been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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