I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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