hotel room ftw
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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