Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize