Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
