i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
