I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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