you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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