I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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