can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
