I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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