all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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