Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
