Got a toothbrush?
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
