Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
