Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
