You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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