im holly from the hills drunk
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize