Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
