Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize