Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
