We're facebook friends in real life
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
