She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
well most of my day revolves around power hour
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Randomize
